Few things in life are capable of scarring your heart and psyche forever more than a love that is unreturned. When you feel such an immense, overwhelming amount of loving emotion for someone who could never feel the same way about you it pierces you to the very core of your being in a way that no physical wound ever could.
All of those feelings, all of that time and energy spent daydreaming and fantasizing about what could be, resulting in a complete anti-climax. Oh. They don’t feel the same way. It’s as if you’ve reached the end of the rainbow only to find an empty pot – the shell of what might have been.
You’re left with only disappointment and sadness as you dwell on what could have been if only the person of your dreams felt a fraction of what you feel for them.
Although it’s unbearably painful, you will get over unrequited love in time. It takes a lot of changing your attitude and strengthening your mind to get back on your own two feet – especially when it feels like there was never anything there in the first place to get worked up over. It’s as if everything you ever wanted was a pipe dream.
Here are five steps to get over someone who doesn’t love you back:
Accept the reality of your situation
The first step in getting over unrequited love is to accept the way things are.
Accept the fact that you love someone who doesn’t feel the same way about you. Accept that you cannot control how anyone feels about you. Accept the way it makes you feel – depressed, unworthy, unlovable, incapable of being truly happy – or all of these and more. The sooner you accept the way things are both inside your mind and in your external life, the sooner you’ll come to terms with what is and stop thinking about what could have been. This will allow you to move on with your life and your precious love.
Know your worth
It’s important to recognize what a kick-ass person you are. Remind yourself of how brilliant you are, of how much someone who doesn’t recognize all the beauty in you is missing. Be kind to yourself. Forgive yourself if you need to. Remember that life is always a work in progress, and that one day your romantic world will come good. Keep moving forward, and know that you’re as incredible, unique, and totally worthy of love as anyone has ever been.
Focus on yourself
The next step is to work on self-improvement. This isn’t so much to make yourself more attractive to a future partner as it is to boost your own self-esteem and remind yourself just how much you’re capable of if you really try. Work out, pick up new hobbies you’ve been wanting to try, and start living your life for you and you alone. You don’t need anyone to make you complete. You’ve had all that is necessary for completeness within you from the very beginning.
Spend time with those closest to you
The times when you feel lowest and most alone are the times you most need your loved ones close. Take the time and make the effort to really reconnect with the people who mean the most to you. Your friends and family will be with you through thick or thin, and being in their company will help you to see for yourself all of the things that make you so brilliant. You’ll be reminded just how great life can be, and you’ll feel re-energized and ready to move on to better times.
Remind yourself that the right person will see your true value
If a person is right for you, you will both know it. They will see all the beautiful, incredible things that make you you. They’ll know deep down that you’re right for them. If a person doesn’t see your true worth, then they’re not right for you – no matter how much you might feel like they are. You need someone who will recognize you for the amazing person you are.
Getting over someone who doesn’t love you back is one of those things which often goes unnoticed by other people, but cuts just as deep as the loss of any love.
After all, the feelings you have for the person that doesn’t see you in the same light are real. The fact that no one else can see any kind of loss except yourself means that you can feel terribly isolated and alone, but that doesn’t change the fact that how you feel is valid and okay. You’ll be alright in the end – just make sure to remind yourself of that. These things take time, so hang on in there!