How to Deal with People Who Push Your Buttons

Living a positive life feels nice. You can do everything “right” and feel great, but in reality we are still going to come across people that push our buttons. Dealing with people who rub me the wrong way has been one of my biggest assignments in life thus far. Whether it’s a friendship gone south or a random stranger on the Internet, it takes a lot of inner work to deal with people who just rub you the wrong way. Fortunately, there are tools we can use to work through these feelings. Remember, we have a choice in how we act to situations and people, so keep that in mind to stay in your power (and to stay sane)!

  1. Drop the judgment. As you may remember, I have been working on being judgment free, which has come in handy whenever I come across someone who is really getting under my skin. Like in any other situation with judgment, I notice when I’m judging the person, release that feeling, forgive myself, and choose again.
  2. Don’t write a story. You know when someone cuts you in line at the grocery store, and you get so angry and in your mind you think, “What an insensitive jerk that person is.” You are writing a story about what kind of person could be so selfish, when in reality we have no idea what’s going on in someone else’s life at any given moment. Don’t write someone else’s story when they make you angry. Stay present, breathe, repeat a mantra or affirmation, and move forward.
  3. Recognize that the other person is you. This is such a big one! Often times the really annoying things we see in other people are reflections of our own shadows. There have been so many times when I have been beyond irritated with someone, only to go within and realize that the particular person was mirriong something in me. If someone is making you majorly crazy, spend some time in reflection and see if you can come up with what that person might be triggering in you.
  4. Forgive them and forgive yourself. We are all love, right? When someone pushes your buttons and you get feisty with them, it’s ok, but return back to love. Forgiveness is that path back to love. Don’t carry the negative emotions along with you. Say a prayer, take a breath, release the person, release the situation, and move along.
  5. Look at all people as an assignment. A great lesson that I learned from Gabby Bernstein is, “All encounters are an opportunity to transform fear to love and create a miracle.” What can an interaction or a relationship teach you about being a better person? When you look at life from this standpoint you release the victim mentality and take responsibility for your life and your actions.
  6. Wish them well from afar. Even when you can’t seem to do any of the above, do your best to wish this pesky person love, because most likely, it’s really all they need. We don’t set out to be annoying, selfish, mean-spirited, narcissistic, inauthentic, or whatever trait that makes you mad, but when we slip into that role, it’s because we’ve veered from love to fear. When you see someone acting in a certain way, send them love, wish them well from afar, and feel the sense of anger in you release immediately.

I hope these tips help you in dealing when any person or situation that riles you up! Do you have your own tips you use to manage people who push your buttons? Let me know in the comments!

Happy Day!

Five Ways to Boost Your Mood and Beat the Winter Blues

It’s December, and there may be snow and dreary weather. Perhaps seasonal depression has kicked in for you. Speaking from experience, I know just how trying a grueling winter can be. Most of the time, it’s easiest to just curl up and wishfully sleep through the rest of the season. Since we’re not bears, and we can’t hibernate, let’s come up with some ways we can reverse the winter blues, and create our own sunshine.

1. Meditate. This is always my number one “go to.” We know the drill: Meditation calms the mind, eases the spirit, and starts your day out on a strong foot. Pick a cozy spot in your meditation corner, and instantly boost your spirits. Just 5 minutes will make all the difference!

2. Be in the “Now.” It’s hard to not yearn for the months when the sun will come out again and the snow will melt, but as we have learned, present moment living is a sure fire way to be happy in life. Bring yourself back to the “now,” and find the positives in what is going on at this very second. I promise you, there is always something beautiful to see.

3. Get moving. Exercise makes you happy. We all know it, yet it’s always the last thing we really want to do after a long day. The endorphins matter! Do whatever you can to move your body for at least fifteen minutes each day. Staying stagnant day-after-day can really lead to some low times. Try something new, be adventurous. And if it’s really freezing out there, waltz on into a hot yoga studio and warm your body up from the inside out.

4. Make a Date. Organizing fun activities with loved ones can always turn a frown upside down. Be creative, be a kid again! Take the initiative and spread the love to all of your social circles.

5. Sneak in the Vitamin D. While sunshine can be limited, try your best to get out, and enjoy it when you can. Vitamin D can improve your mood, kicking seasonal depression to the curb! If you’re really craving extra sun, look into buying a sun lamp, or replace some of your light bulbs with ones that are similar to sunlight.

What have you found useful to get you through the winter months? Let us know!

Happy Sunday Everyone!

My End of the Year Ritual

The end of a year is such an exciting time. For me, I can just feel the change in energy, the shift in perception, and the immense curiosity of what is to come. I find myself feeling extra positive at the end of each year, and feeling like anything is possible. And really, it is.

Even though the end of the year is such a hectic time with holidays, parties, and family time, I find it’s a time of going inward and reflection. I just love taking time with myself to go over the past twelve months, honor what has happened and prepare for another whole year.

You may all have your own rituals of how you close out a year, but I want to share with you what I do to say good-bye to the year that has passed and say hello to a brand new era of our lives. Check out my own end of the year ritual below!

  1. Gratitude meditation. As a perfect way to start my ritual, I take some time for meditation. Spend a few minutes in silence with your eyes closed and just feel gratitude. You can think back to experiences or people that have filled you with joy this year and take these minutes to just be grateful. Feel this feeling in your whole body and soul. Epitomize being grateful for everything that has happened up until this moment.
  2. Journal about all the challenges, experiences, and lessons learned. Although a great year in many ways, 2018 was also an extremely challenging year. This journaling portion for me will be so important, as there has been SO much I have learned and been through. Take an inventory of all that has happened, recognize it, honor it, and then set an intention to let it go. Think of the New Year as a clean slate; keep the past in the past and allow space for the excitement of a brand new year.
  3. Set intentions. You all know by now, I love intention setting. Again, it makes me feel like anything is possible. You could again take some time in meditation, or just go inward and see what your spirit truly wants for this year. Maybe it’s focusing on self-care, or building a business, or finding a romantic relationship. Listen to what the soul wants, and send this intention out to the Universe to be manifested. Your thoughts, words, and actions are so powerful. When you truly want something, the world will conspire to help you achieve it.
  4. Make an inspiring to-do list. I love having things to look forward to. Sometimes it’s fun to make a list of fun things you would love to do in the days to come. Maybe take a fun family vacation, go on a meditation retreat, or even read a book you have been longing to dive into. Make a small list of fun things you would like to do for yourself in the coming year. If you are feeling even more eager, you could even pull out a calendar and write it down there, truly encouraging you to follow through on making time for you and your joy! Remember you are in charge of your happiness, make yourself a priority and find time for yourself in 2019.
  5. Let go. Perhaps the hardest step for many of us, me included! I love to micromanage and make sure everything gets done, so surrendering the outcome to the Universe can be super challenging. Once you have gone through all these preparatory steps, it’s time to just let go, and allow everything to happen in due time. Of course, it is still necessary to take positive actions in the direction of your dreams and intentions, but there is no need to force or put pressure on yourself for the outcome. I have found that everything happens for a reason and in the perfect timing. Trust that life will follow in this way.

I would love to hear your end of the year rituals, and what you do to prepare for this brand new year! Thank you for spending 2018 here with me on the blog, I’m so excited to see what 2019 has in store for us!
Happy New Year!

The 5 Best Pieces of Advice I’ve Received

Do you ever have one of those moments, where you hear a sound bite or a quote, and you know it has just changed your life? Or have you ever had a conversation with someone you admire, and they bestow upon you advice that makes you see life from a brand new perspective? I know you all can probably answer yes to these questions, and you can appreciate the importance of valuable advice passed down, year after year.

I’ve spent some time lately thinking about my own life path, the ups, the downs, and the lessons that have come with it. In my reflection, I thought it would be fun to pull out some of the greatest life hacks shared with me along my journey thus far. These five pieces of advice I share with you today have changed my life in many ways: from saving relationships, to helping me through dark moments, to even moving me along on my career path.

I truly believe knowledge is power, and of course, like Maya Angelou says, “When we know better, we do better.” I lovingly pass along these words of wisdom that have changed the way I live my life.

1. Begin each day with a grateful heart. Cultivating an attitude of gratitude saved me from one of the darker moments in my life. Every day that we wake up living and breathing, we are given a gift, a clean slate, an opportunity. It is up to us how we choose to spend that day, but how beautiful it is that the opportunity is presented to us. By remembering gratitude in the morning sets the tone for the day in a positive light, and truly has the power to create meaningful change in our lives.

2. You cannot control the external world, but you can control your reaction to it. This is one of the most empowering pieces of advice I’ve been given, and my life was never the same after hearing it. Life will continue to happen outside of us, and it’s true, we cannot control it, but how amazing it is that we have the ability to monitor our thoughts and actions, take note of our habits, and consciously react to the world around us. Whenever life feels out of control, I remember that I can manage anything when working from the inside, out.

3. Finding forgiveness sets you free.
 I used to really love to be the person that held grudges (yes, I’m a Scorpio, it happens). Whenever I felt wronged by someone else, it only seemed fair that I be allowed to act out, hold on, and make it known that I was the victim of something unjust. After a period of time, I recognized how horrible this felt. And then I started to learn about the miracle of forgiveness. The truth is the purpose of forgiveness is not to benefit the person or thing that hurt you, but to release yourself from the shackles of the past. I had some difficult moments in my childhood (like we all do), and I’ll never forget my mom telling me over and over “don’t be a victim.” When you forgive, you release the victim mentality, you find freedom, you come back to the present moment, and open yourself up to new possibilities in life.

4. Release the need to take things personally. I credit this piece of knowledge to don Miguel Ruiz and his book The Four Agreements. This was one of the very first self-help books I ever read, and it opened my eyes to a brand new way of viewing life. I used to really care about what people thought of me, and truthfully, I am still working on it. Whenever I get into a funk about how someone treats me I remember that it has nothing to do with me, everything to do with them, and it really helps diffuse the situation. A bonus here is to send that person love and compassion, it always helps.

5. If you’re being your authentic self, you have no competition. I used to really worry about how I was going to make my mark in the world. Competition and comparison ran rampant in my mind, and it was draining trying to sort out how I could set myself apart in a world of billions of people. The antidote to this problem is to find out who you are, get in alignment with it, and come back to it, every single day. There was so much relief for me when I was able to truly bring this into practice in my life. I’ve been working a lot on what it means to cultivate your own sense of self, and how to live that, every day.

I hope these five pieces of advice give you some support on your own journey in life.

I’d love to hear what advice has been life changing for you. Let me know in the comments below!

5 Things to Stop Doing Right Now

This week’s blog is going to be short and sweet. Sometimes, I think it’s really effective! When I learn something, I feel it so necessary to share with you.

I’ve been taking a lot of time to go inward and reflect and journal lately, even more than usual. I’ve had a lot of ideas and really important lessons spring to mind because of it. Here are the 5 common thought patterns that I’m sure we would all be fine without:

1. Comparing yourself to others, and thinking that you have to be like everyone else
You don’t have to be like everyone else, darling. You’re unique for a reason. Don’t compare, don’t judge, just be.

2. Thinking that you’re always doing something “wrong” 
We get into the headspace that we are always doing things wrong, and that we have to fix ourselves. Did you ever stop to think that the things you’re doing “wrong” are part of the path to improving? It all serves a purpose.

3. Believing life and the Universe do not love and fully support you
The Universe will support you as much as you are open and willing to trust and be supported. We all have the ability and capability of feeling and being this way. Open up to it.

4. Thinking that you are not enough right this very minute
Let’s live a life of abundance, shall we? The first step in that is believing that you are deserving and that you are enough, right in this very minute. You are not lacking anything; you are whole and complete.

5. Believing that you cannot have what you desire
We are powerful beings; we can co-create anything we desire. Want to bring something into your life? Get clear, take action towards bringing it in, and allow the Universe to help you manifest. Keep the faith.

I hope this inspires you to cut some of these negative mental habits out of your life starting today! What else can you commit to that will bring you happiness and inner peace? Let me know in the comments!